I quit my job, b/c my being in the workforce w/ my earning ability, ambition, etc has proven to cause Ivan to become comfortable and complacent, moving no where...which is contrary to our goal of him being capable of providing for our household himself.
He has been at his job for 6 months, being underpaid and working a job that's beneath his skill set. We agreed that it was time for him to transition to something better that will pay better. He's put forth no effort.
In the meantime, I hear very clearly God's will for me to work for the church. #1 - finance department - I'll be transitioning into being a significant aspect of the treasury department, most likely taking over as treasurer. Unpaid, but I'm loving it and passionate about it. There's a need for a holy woman (or man) of God to oversee the finances of the church, be prayerful over God's house and genuinely make His house a priority and take care of it. I have that heart. And I take this very serious. #2 - God has gifted me in the art of mime. I minister during worship service (twice so far) and God is using me to touch the lives of my brothers and sisters in the church (Hallelujah for His anointing). This is my FIRST passion. #3 - I'm a member of the greeter's ministry...it's natural and I love it too! He's blessing me in my walk w/ Him.
Ivan finds out his contract is due for extension at the end of February. He does nothing...to see what the plans are, what his options are, nothing. Saturday, Feb 26th he finds out his contract will not be extended and not to report back to work anymore.
At this point, I'm VERY worried b/c we're 2 months past due on our mortgage with the 3rd month due now. Car note, same situation as well as other bills.
Ivan has done no job hunting since Saturday. He has not filed for unemployment yet. Essentially, my greatest issue is him dragging his feet and not seeing our situation as being critical. And his attitude just kills me. It's like, a false sense of faith.
Now, I can do what I would normally do. Step up and make it happen in order to make sure our household is provided for...in spite of him.
I have not been looking for work and I have no desire to go back right now (especially not full time). But I get an email today (random and out of the blue) for multiple positions that are available for a previous client. Making approx $35/hr.
At the moment, I can't tell if this is God or the enemy. I don't want to keep standing in the way of Ivan man'ing up and taking care of what he needs to take care of as the head of the household.
I believe this situation is not for me to handle in and of my own strength. But it's hard to sit back and even just think of the possibility of losing my home and being thrusted into uncertainty and significant trials and circumstances that can be avoided if I just...got up and got back out there in the workforce, in spite of the strides I've been making in the house of God and in my relationship w/ Him. And despite Ivan's *can't find the appropriate word*
I'm certain, that if I do get back in the workforce (especially while Ivan is out of work) it'll cause him to really drag his feet and take his time...b/c as usual (well, up until I quit my job) Del will be taking care of everything.
It's painful being in this situation. And makes it difficult to "respect" Ivan during these seasons. But I've shared my heart (tearfully unfortunately) only one time. Since then I've kept my mouth shut about it.
This evening (around 5 or 6pm) he updated his resume and asked me to look it over. But don't know what he's done since then outside making a few phone calls.
What does a GODLY woman do?? Figure out what God's will is first...
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