Married...but I Miss Dating!

I just finished watching He's Just Not That into You for the first time and like my husband said...it was a pretty good movie.  I really enjoyed it!  Granted, I kept getting irritated but I must admit that I'm getting better with understanding that people are different and will handle situations and circumstances different than I do/will/would.

Watching that movie got my wheels spinning as it relates to dating and marriage.  Both have their pros and both have their cons but the majority of women will overwhelmingly choose marriage over dating anyday.  

Being married for 4yrs now, I still choose marriage over dating b/c (especially from a Christian perspective) you can have the perks of dating w/ in your marriage but you can't truly have the perks of marriage when you're just dating!

But I must admit, I miss dating.

I miss how the guy takes an overwhelming interest in you, and desires to explore every nook and cranny that is distinctly you.  He looks you in your eyes and he gives you his undivided attention b/c he knows it's to his benefit to study you, to get to know you. I miss the questions and that inquisitive nature b/c of the genuine interest he has in you, your mind and thoughts, your past, your desires, your hopes, your dreams, your dislikes...

And I'm referring to real, mature and serious men who are serious about what they want in life, especially the woman they make their wife and life-partner.  Not the casual dude looking for a good time or multiple female friends.

I miss how the guy puts effort into being companions and truly building a friendship with his woman friend.  He listens and is vested in the moment, each time.

I agree we are wired differently but swimming aggressively in our differences...that's just unreasonable.  Life is about changing and growing, being exposed, making mistakes, lessons learned and becoming the best that you can be.

I miss how the guy is always looking for places to take you, wine and dine you, put a smile on your face and give you yet another reason to give him those googly-you-are-so-awesome eyes.  Men live for our respect and adoration and they forget the things they DID to get those things.  But then aren't able to quite put their finger on why their wife no longer has that glow for them like they used to. Or that twinkle in her eye that makes him puff his chest out.  Heck, we miss it too!!  Men are selfish, naturally.  Self-seeking and self-serving...loving his woman is not natural for him.  Which is why I believe we are taken for granted so often.  I mean think about it, if men were naturally capable of loving their wives, they wouldn't need to be instructed to love her in the way she needs to be loved in the Scriptures!

For every ACTION you can expect a reaction.  For INACTION you can also expect a reaction.  However, these latter reactions will with each passing day store away feelings, thoughts and even insecurities that pile up and will be released in one way or another at one time or another. And they're usually not good...at least not for me.

I'll never forget what a woman said to my husband and I while preparing for service at a church we were visiting when living in DC.  She asked how we were doing and I said we're doing great. And as she was walking away telling me "that's great to hear" she made it a point to look us in the eye and she said "never stop dating each other".

And dating...I sorely miss.

My Glass House
~DLR